Waking Up in Vegas
by ohemmgeeitsfishy
Summary: Edward Cullen has never felt any sort of romantic feelings or any of that nonsense towards Bella Swan, who is simply his best friend. However, it's summer, and what with a road trip planned across the continental U.S., that may all change. All human.


Edward Cullen had reached the peak of his frustration.

"Rel. Calm down! It was just a joke."

"You always say that, but, like sometimes, I think you actually mean it! Like, do you really think that about me?"

Edward took a deep, inward breath.

"Relly, sweetheart, could you please refrain from using the word, 'like?'" He hated to nitpick over unnecessary filler-words, but whenever he found himself caught in an inane argument with Ariel, he couldn't control himself from evaluating his girlfriend's speech patterns.

"And that's another thing! Every time I try to talk to you about something, you always find something to critique about me!"

"You're not supposed to start of your sentences with 'and,'" Edward returned.

"Argh! You know what, Edward? Fuck off!"

"What a lovely goodbye," Edward quipped as he hung up the phone.

"Yes, what a lovely goodbye, indeed." He looked up to see his best friend standing in his doorway, an amused smirk on her face.

"Hey, Bella." Edward walked up to her with his arms outstretched in order to give her a tight hug.

Bella began to laugh hysterically, sliding down his wall.

"Uhm. Bella? Excuse me?" Edward asked as he reached out to her in order to help her back up to her feet.

"Nothing, Edward. It's just that you looked like a pterodactyl flying down to retrieve its latest meal," Bella answered between giggles. She grabbed his forearm and pulled herself up, taking a seat on Edward's bed. Edward sat down next to her.

"You're a freak, did you know that?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that your sister and my best friend-"

"Besides me."

"Yes, besides you, of course. Anyway, dearest Alice and I went to Starbucks and picked up venti caramel frappuchinos-"

"Really, Bella? Venti? Do you need that much caffeine?"

"Hush, Edward. As I was saying, we got caramel frappuchinos and then we went to Publix to get one of those giant bags of cough drops. Oh, and sushi. Can't forget the sushi, can I?"

"That's a lovely story Bella, but I fail to see what relevance that has in regards to my previous statement denoting you as a freak."

"I really hate the word denote."

"Sorry."

"Anyway - haven't I said that word too many times in this conversation already?"

"You used it twice."

"Whatever. I always feel like I'm overusing that word. The point of my story was to explain why I would find you hilarious, as my brain is currently addled by the combined efforts of cough drop medication, caffeine, sugar, and sushi."

"I don't think sushi's supposed to do anything to you."

"You know what? _Casse-toi_."

"You're the second person to say that to me, but the first to say it to me in French."

"Who was the first?"

"Ariel."

"Ah. I noticed you were on the phone with her. She sounded upset."

"Oh, she was just upset over something that I said."

"Well, what'd you say now? Jesus, Edward. You always get into fights with her over something that you said. You'd think you would have learned by now not to offend your girlfriend."

"Shut up, Bella. She simply did not take kindly to a comment I had made."

"Well, what'd she say?"

"See, she was going on and on about how fat she was, so I just said that she called herself fat so often that I was starting to agree with her."

"Oh, Edward Cullen. You're a right prat, did you know that?"

"What?"

"She's never understood your pathetic attempts at humor like, say, Emmett or I do."

"Well, it sounded witty in my head! It's not my fault she didn't think it was funny!"

"Oh, Edward. There, there. One day, someone will learn to deal with your idiosyncrasies." Bella patted his head twice in a condescending manner and then proceeded to tussle his bronze locks.

"Stop that! I spent an hour this morning making sure it was perfect!" Bella let out a peal of laughter.

"You're such a fruit sometimes, kid."

"Shut up. I just like to look good."

"Aw, what a cutie. Sorry for messing your hair. You look very pretty today," Bella retorted mockingly.

Edward playfully raised up his hand, acting as if he was going to slap her. Bella stretched out her arm and reached out to grab hold of his hand, intertwining her fingers through his. They sat like that in comfortable silence for a fair amount of time.

_You know, if anyone walked in, right now, they would think Bella and I were a couple...._ Edward thought to himself. The thought made his stomach fill up with butterflies, oddly enough. He had never thought about Bella like that before. He opened his mouth, about to share his thought with Bella, and then closed it, thinking it stupid and unnecessary.

Bella broke the silence.

"You look like a fish."

"What?"

"You were opening and closing your mouth. Like a fish."

"You're weird."

"You're tall."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It is."

"This is a nonsensical conversation."

"Your face is nonsensical."

"What are you doing here, anyway? It's 2:15 in the morning," Edward remarked with slight shock. He hadn't noticed how late it had gotten.

"Didn't Alice tell you? I'm spending the rest of my summer with you guys and joining your little road trip adventure thing."

"What road trip?"

"Uhm, you're going on a road trip across the country this summer?"

"Since when?"

"Go ask Alice, in the morning. My goodness, how do you not know?"

"No one in this house tells me anything!"

"Ohkay, Eddy. Don't get your knickers in a twist," Alice replied, sauntering into his room.

"Alice! What did I say about knocking before entering my room?!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I'm sorry to interrupt your little romantic hand-holding moment with my friend-" Bella blushed red and let go of Edward's hand at this point "-but I kinda need her back, thanks."

"Oh, fine, whatever, go take her. She was getting boring, anyway."

"You're a real charmer, did you know that, Eddy? You're twice as boring as I am." Bella got up and followed Alice to her room.

"See you in the morning, brother dearest!" Edward got up and slammed the door shut.

_Damn Alice, always ruining the moment. _

_Wait. _

_Uhm. _

_There was no moment. _

_Bella and I are just friends. _

_Right. _

Edward scoffed at himself.

_Moment. _

_Hah._

_The lack of sleep must be getting to me._

With that, Edward Cullen switched off his light in an attempt to lull himself to sleep. However, he couldn't quit get rid off the certain brunnette friend of his who kept infiltrating his thoughts.

_Go to sleep, Edward. _

_You can go harass Bella in the morning. _

With that last thought, Edward shifted to the other side of his bed, and soon the Cullen household was silent.

For now.

* * *

Hey. This is my first attempt to write a story in about a year, so clearly, it's not that good. Not to mention the fact that it's 4:46 in the morning right now. This is only the exposition. The story will get moving soon. Ohkay, I'm going to stop making excuses for my crappy writing and go to bed.

Please review!

-ohemmgeeitsfishy.


End file.
